This is Love, This is Murder

Day 1: A Secret Love Letter

I am participating in a blog challenge under the holiday Valentine’s Day with Nilo. I enjoyed it the first year I participated and look forward to doing it again. I feel that Valentines Day, like many holidays turned into a consumer centered holiday focusing on the pressure of being in a relationship or with someone. I like to use this time to reimagined the holiday and maybe steer the direction because for many to love is to lose and to lose means taking that L baby. So I open up today with the first prompt being a secret love letter to One of my first and only love who never left my side to this day.

Dear Love,

it seems like just yesterday we met but I’ve known you for almost all of my life. You cradled me fumes of that stung the nostrils with pleasure at A tender age. From that moment I knew we were going to be together forever. It wasn’t until I was 14 that you decided it was time. Never have I been so scared in my life. You took full force and control over me and my emotions. It was. We. I couldn’t handle and I was afraid of you. I always seem to notice we were only together with friends. It wasn’t til later I wanted to be with you alone. Now that I’m grown, I noticed i still can’t handle you but I want to love you. You make everything feel okay. You also make me notice everything that’s wrong with me. My family and friends love you but the law hates you. You gotten many people in trouble but I always knew you were misunderstood. I want you in my life forever and always but will you be good for me.

Everyone thinks we are still together and in a crazy way I guess we still are. I can’t think about you too much but when the time is right, I want you with me forever and always. You always seem to keep my mom in good company and I thank you for that. She’s been having a hard time lately.

I’ve been thinking of moving out of Oregon but I don’t think you will be ready for where I want to go. I want to move onto to somewhere bigger but just the thought of you not being able to come scares me because even when you aren’t with me everyday, you bring me security. It will only be a matter of time until the world catches on and realizes the benefits of your gifts.  Until then I leave you here. I love you Miss Mary, Mary Jane.

Love you forever and always , 

Ellen

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This is Love, This is Murder

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